Sarah Shahi Shows Off Her Stretch Marks

Please donâ€™t let the title of this post fool you: Stretch marks arenâ€™t always a bad thing. How do I know? Well give me a second and Iâ€™ll tell you.

Back in high school I knew a girl who ran an easy 300 back-breaking pounds. She was a very nice and conscientious person on the inside but on the outside she resembled one of those overweight slobs you see on home video trying to break into professional wrestling. It literally would have taken a hydrolic jack to get up for this girl.

Fast-forward to a few years after we graduated. I was at the bar one night and slowly working on a pretty good hangover when I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I groggily turned around and saw what in my drunken stupor was a fairly attractive young lady I figured my after hours entertainment had just arrived.

She said hello and asked if I remembered her, but as I mumbled something incoherent and slowly nodded my head I was secretly asking myself just where the hell I knew this girl from. You know how it goes.

She took a seat next to me at the bar and ordered a drink, and it was at the precise moment when she leaned forward to get an ash tray that her shirt dropped down a few inches and revealed to me what every person has after losing a lot of weight: Stretch marks.

To make an already long story short my booze-addled brain finally clicked and I was able to place the face with the memory. This was the same girl I went to school with, only now instead of looking like the punchline to a tasteless joke she looked like someone whose undies would look great on my floor. We made small talk for the rest of the night and caught up on each otherâ€™s lives and after the bar closed we drunkenly made our way outside.

Everything looked like a go (read: I was going to get some ass) until in mid-sentence I promptly puked up the contents of an entire dayâ€™s worth of food (which included White Castle hamburgers and a plate of lasagna).

I never saw her again.