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If you were wondering why Mike Myers‘ latest comedy, Austin Powers IV The Love Guro, didn’t do as well as his shameless promotional attempts suggested then look no further then this mock music video of The Joker by Steve Miller featuring a belly dancing Jessica Alba and Mike Myers as Austin Powers With a Beard The Love Guro.

Ms. Alba just released this web cam clip of her starting a staring contest with you but made it an adamant point to keep her Gaze Grabbers out of the camera’s view. So instead of accepting Dark Angel’s challenge I decided to present you guys with one of my own…

After the jump I added a clip from Jessica Alba’s topless scene in some underground movie. Instead of a staring contest, I challenge you to try and look AWAY from this clip for more then 2 seconds. Good Luck!

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Although there ARE easier ways to do so, you may have recently noticed Jessica Alba going through a sort of movie role renaissance where she branches out from her usual roles as “The hot chick in the movie” and diversifies her acting scope with roles like “That hot chick in that thriller“, or “That hot chick in that horror flick“, or more recently “That not funny hot chick in that romantic comedy“.

Since we’ll see any movie with a smoking hot chick like Alba in it she is still getting these scripts for a variety of different characters. Like this “Dramatic Comedy” called ‘Meet Bill’ about a guy whose using Jessica like a non-prenup engagement to make his wife jealous. I watched the film in its entirety and although Alba works in a lingerie store the best we get from her is this millisecond of Alba feeling up some chick in a tent. So its pretty save to say the 1+ hour was worth it… Enjoy.

Oh and I added some sweet images of half breeds Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria together in some skimpy bikinis below just incase the action above is too fast for you to enjoy.

Props For the Clip Go To sickboy over at the PxT Forums

Jessica Alba recreates some of Hollywood’s most memorable horror movies like Scream, Birds, Psycho, and Poltergeist (which I can’t seem to find) for Latina magazine’s March issue.

Inside the mag, Latina’s Editor-in-Cheif grinds into Momma-Alba with the rumors that have resulted in her now-commonly used nickname, “Jessica ‘Don’t Call Me Latina’ Alba.”

Jessica on her reluctance to walk the red carpet at Latin events: “I’ll support those shows, but I can’t go on the press lines and have people make me feel bad about myself. Life is too short. I can’t change how I grew up, and I shouldn’t have to apologize for it. I know I feel close to the Latin community, because that’s what I grew up with.”


Jessica on claims that she’s proud to have cut loose from her Mexican roots: “I never said that. Cut loose from what? What the hell are they talking about? Why would I want to cut loose from the only family I know?”


Jessica On confusing other men for her dad as a kid: “When I was little, I used to go up to black men and hold their legs, thinking it was my dad all the time. I’d wrap my arms around them, then look up and be like, ‘Oh my God!’”

Jessica on being accepted for who she is in Hollywood: “I was always trying to figure out: How the hell am I going to be mainstream? How are people going to accept me? When are the going to get a clue that I am American, that this is what America looks like–people like me who are mixed, have different blood, mixed with different ethnicities? When are the people who are hiring for these jobs and writing these screenplays going to realize that?”


Jessica on what she wants her baby to look like: “I’m excited for my baby to be brown. I just have to believe the dark gene is going to survive. Cash and I are like, please!”
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